If Irony Were Iron, These Folks Would Rust To Death

Every day I peruse sundry help-wanted ads, which is how I learned today that the "Results/Results Educational Fund" is looking to hire a "US Anti-Poverty Policy" intern. Must commit to working at least three days a week, plus occasional evenings, for at least two and a half months, in the very pricey city of Washington, DC, for NO PAY WHATSOEVER. Unsurprisingly, it says a "sense of humor" is required.

I will not be applying for that gig, but I offer the Results/Results Educational Fund the following free advice on how best to eradicate poverty: if you have people working for you, pay them some money. 

Sneak preview of tomorrow's ads: the "Racism is Bad And We Should Totally Stop It" foundation is looking to hire some interns. Duties include: torching crosses, wearing white hoods, spray-painting swastikas on minority-owned homes and businesses, and writing semi-coherent blog posts explaining why non-white people should all go back to where they came from.